urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:miz_sunshine87 *an extraordinary girl in an ordinary world* Shannon 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:miz_sunshine87:64061 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z I am so rediculously, totally completely effing drunk right now. I must say, i love it, but maybe that is the alcoholic in me talking.<br /><br />I really hope this doesn't make me feel worse.<br /><br />I just want to be a normal, stupid 19 yr old girl, is that so much to ask? <br /><br />It's so hard to tell people you are fine when you really are not. I wish I could say <br />I was great and really mean it. I feel selfish, but I need to feel better, I just need to.<br /><br />So I peed 300cc's just now. For anyone that doesn't know, 500cc's is normal capacity, but 300 for me is great cuz I usually feel like dying at 200cc's or less. The only problem is that 2 or 3 days from now I will probably be crying in pain. I really hope not, I reall just want everything to be normal.<br /><br />Damn bladder.<br /><br />I'm feeling very self destructive at the moment. A big part of me doesn't even care about my future...going to school, working, being a teacher, getting married etc. I just want to be happy, that's all I want. I want to be silly and stupid and drink reduculousds amounts of alchohol, possibly ingest various illegal substances and totally space out for a while. <br /><br />Sorry for the drunken ramblings...<br />tequila, I &lt;3 thee.